My following commentary is modeled after Saturday Night Live's 'REALLY?!' segment and speaks to the recent University of Michigan football loss to Toledo:
REALLY?! Michigan, you posted a loss to TOLEDO on Saturday, REALLY?! What, Rich Rodriguez couldn’t get you fired up for a football game the caliber of neighborhood kids gathering to throw rocks at a tree? REALLY?!
Let me explain what Toledo did to prepare for Saturday’s match: They rolled out of bed. There were no windsprints, no films; they knew they were walking into a Bloody Saturday Massacre. And why? Because you’re Michigan football and that is what you do to lowly MAC teams.
Did you hear that loud banging while you slept Saturday night? It was Bo Schembechler yelling ‘Rebuilding year my as*!’ from his great bed in the Sky. Or could it have been the resounding hurl of pens from sports critics everywhere after having written their collective ‘we miss the days of Appalachian State’ missives?
And Rodriguez REALLY?! You think this is an acceptable loss for this storied program? Do you truly believe this one can be tucked under the mattress along with your $2.5mm UoWV payoff? Repeat after us Rich: TO-LEE-DO. I don’t know what the West Virginian educational system taught you but in the Mitten State ‘Toledo’ isn’t pronounced ‘rival.’ It’s pronounced ‘game that still draws 100k to Ann Arbor and allows college students an excuse for too many beer bong hits.’
So to my beloved Wolverines, all I can offer is my unending support and the hope that the gap between our current state (Hell) and our future state (Improvement) shrinks. Quickly.
But Rodriguez?
REALLY?!
Huh.
WOW.
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